Hey Brian, can I call you Brian? Anyway, I just read about your latest crappy movie about US troops raping a young girl in Iraq.
I have an idea for a follow up movie.
Since you already did “Casualties of War” and now this flick I perceive a theme: Out of control people, drunk with power abusing and damaging the lives of people under their control.
Okay…We do a movie about a famous Hollywood director who lures a 13 year-old girl to the empty home of an actor friend. There he slips her a Quaalude and rapes the hell out of her. Then he uses the fact that he was a survivor of Nazi concentration camps as an excuse to undergo psychiatric tests, then when he’s supposed to be sentence he flees to France and becomes a Hollywood folk hero. You can end with footage of Hollywood giving him a standing –O after he wins an Academy Award thirty years later.
No?
How about a film about a famous Record Producer who beats the shit out of women who invites an aspiring actress back to his estate where he attempts to put the moves on her, a struggle ensues and he shoots her in the head and kills her.
No?
How about a story about a Hollywood Director who’s shooting a movie and he’s violating basic safety procedures AND Child Labor Laws, then he ends up pushing too hard and an accident happens where a helicopter crashes and kills the lead actor and to children – ON SCREEN. It’s pretty gory, you’d love it!
No?
Okay, how about telling the story of a shady Hollywood Private Detective who does all kinds of dirty work for Hollywood’s most powerful people. Stuff like wire-taps, intimidate witnesses; threaten reporters and all kinds of nasty stuff.
No?
Why?
These stories would give the “Wrong Impression” about Hollywood and paint the hard working and talented people in a negative light? REALY?
I should point out that the soldiers who committed this crime are all in prison and will be there for a very long time. Not a prison like rich Directors would go to, a serious prison. See, unlike Hollywood, the Military doesn’t condone nor accept criminal acts and punishes those in their ranks who commit them. The “10% Rule” applies in the military just as it does in Hollywood, it’s just that the military eventually catches its defectives and puts them away. But that would ruin your morality tale now wouldn’t it?
I know your movie will fail and I will be glad when it does.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The "New" Al Qaeda Threat ?
So this week we saw Department of Homeland Security, Michael Churtoff, say that he had a gut feeling that Al Qaeda would try to attack somewhere in the U.S.. Then ABC News reported that the there had been a "Graduation" of Jihadists in Pakistan and that they were now headed to the West. There were other stories in the news, usually from unnamed Justice Department and Department of Defense sources that confirmed a variety of nightmares to come.
My only comment is: When were they never a threat?
See, I'm not saying that Al Qaeda isn't planning a strike on the U.S., they're ALWAYS planning a strike on America, it's just that this story plays into the media's theme of failure in Iraq and specifically that our involvement there has been a boon to Al Qaeda and is now enjoying a resurgence. While Iraq hasn't helped the fact is that Al Qaeda had 20,000 men in their training camps in Afghanistan back in October, 2001, and 10,000 of these men scattered to the winds before we started attacking the camps. Some of them have turned up in Iraq but most of them are unaccounted for. 9/11 was carried out by only 24 men. That 10,000 number, even if it's high, should give wise people pause because they can be anywhere today.
So while all this attention is probably good (the State Department Travel Warning of August, 2001, stating that Al Qaeda was planning to hijack civilian jetliners went largely unnoticed by the news media), I think that it's too bad that the press still hasn't figured out that the terrorists declared war on us first and that they have yet to call it all off.
Welcome to the party.
My only comment is: When were they never a threat?
See, I'm not saying that Al Qaeda isn't planning a strike on the U.S., they're ALWAYS planning a strike on America, it's just that this story plays into the media's theme of failure in Iraq and specifically that our involvement there has been a boon to Al Qaeda and is now enjoying a resurgence. While Iraq hasn't helped the fact is that Al Qaeda had 20,000 men in their training camps in Afghanistan back in October, 2001, and 10,000 of these men scattered to the winds before we started attacking the camps. Some of them have turned up in Iraq but most of them are unaccounted for. 9/11 was carried out by only 24 men. That 10,000 number, even if it's high, should give wise people pause because they can be anywhere today.
So while all this attention is probably good (the State Department Travel Warning of August, 2001, stating that Al Qaeda was planning to hijack civilian jetliners went largely unnoticed by the news media), I think that it's too bad that the press still hasn't figured out that the terrorists declared war on us first and that they have yet to call it all off.
Welcome to the party.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
How To Get The News
Back in 1980, when I was sitting in my high school Journalism class , someone asked why the newspaper never covered the "Hard News". My teacher, Mr. Walsh looked at this guy like he was a dipshit, and then he proceeded to tell us that the news was there and that you had to know how to find it. Even back then, the important stories weren't on the front page, they were buried in the back pages near the classified in postage-stamp sized columns. So Mr. Walsh pulled out that day's paper and sure enough, on the page where the classified adds started were stories about problems in Africa and Argentina.
This revelation changed my life in that I always was one step ahead of my peers about world events that continues to this day. The Falklands War? Saw it coming. Marine barracks bombing in Beirut? Wasn't a big surprise. 9/11? Guess what? The government (in the form of the US State Department) actually issued a travel warning about Al Qaeda threatening to hijack commercial airliners. No...it didn't say anything about crashing them into American buildings, they thought this might happen in Africa. This warning was issued in August, 2001. For all of the grief the mainstream news outlets get, the fact is, they do a good job. Could it be better? Hell yes, but in all if you know where to look and how to look you can find all kinds of interesting news.
Take the tragic fire in Charleston. Someone complained that there wasn't enough news coverage on the TV and on Internet sites. They forgot that most newspapers are now online and all they had to do was go here:
www.usnpl.com
And then click on the proper state's link. Bingo! More news than you can possibly use.
The sad thing is that places you'd expect to find current events, the Network and Cable news networks, are painfully lacking. I've talked about this before, Cable News has embraced the tabloid mentality in their quest for ratings so instead of the daily events in Congress or Iraq we are presented with missing pregnant women and Paris Hilton. The problem today is that the Networks have given up and they use the Internet as an excuse. I like to think that this attitude comes from outside of the Network news department , a short-sighted mandate from the corporate Spread-Sheet-Nazis and not from the editorial staff. Since 1981, the major networks have closed their foreign desks simply to save money. This means that for the most part they rely on freelance journalists and this isn't always good. Most of these freelancers are European and they lack a basic understanding of America, this means that they lack the ability to tell the stories in such a way that engages American viewers; who always ask the question : "Why should I care?". The other problem is that when events blow up and the networks finally send an in house reporters to the scene, they often lack knowledge about the situation's back-story and they lack knowledge of the nuance found in the local culture that can better explain the underlying situations. As a result, Americans get a handicapped version of the events by reporters who don't know better.
The worst part of news today is the Tablification of the mainstream. This is a direct result of the OJ Simpson trial and the wall-to-wall coverage that it received from every network. It was a giant set backwards from the highpoint of Cable news: The start of Desert Storm on CNN. CNN's downward spiral can be traced to it's relocation to New York City from Atlanta. The advantage CNN had over every other network was that it wasn't based in New York, so there was no inbreeding with the other networks and this gave them a better view of the world. That's gone today as CNN has sold it's soul for ratings.
So this means that it's up to you, loyal reader, to develop a foundation of knowledge on a wide spectrum of issues so that when you come across a small story buried in the newspaper you can treat it like you would a box-score from a baseball game. The Box-Score was an exercise from my high school Journalism class. You had to write a narrative of a baseball game using only a box-score. Obviously, the more you know about baseball the better job you'll do but even with just the definition of the abbreviations and symbols anybody can write a basic run-down of the game. It's not fair that we all have to work harder but the good news is that it's harder for the news to pull something over on you.
This revelation changed my life in that I always was one step ahead of my peers about world events that continues to this day. The Falklands War? Saw it coming. Marine barracks bombing in Beirut? Wasn't a big surprise. 9/11? Guess what? The government (in the form of the US State Department) actually issued a travel warning about Al Qaeda threatening to hijack commercial airliners. No...it didn't say anything about crashing them into American buildings, they thought this might happen in Africa. This warning was issued in August, 2001. For all of the grief the mainstream news outlets get, the fact is, they do a good job. Could it be better? Hell yes, but in all if you know where to look and how to look you can find all kinds of interesting news.
Take the tragic fire in Charleston. Someone complained that there wasn't enough news coverage on the TV and on Internet sites. They forgot that most newspapers are now online and all they had to do was go here:
www.usnpl.com
And then click on the proper state's link. Bingo! More news than you can possibly use.
The sad thing is that places you'd expect to find current events, the Network and Cable news networks, are painfully lacking. I've talked about this before, Cable News has embraced the tabloid mentality in their quest for ratings so instead of the daily events in Congress or Iraq we are presented with missing pregnant women and Paris Hilton. The problem today is that the Networks have given up and they use the Internet as an excuse. I like to think that this attitude comes from outside of the Network news department , a short-sighted mandate from the corporate Spread-Sheet-Nazis and not from the editorial staff. Since 1981, the major networks have closed their foreign desks simply to save money. This means that for the most part they rely on freelance journalists and this isn't always good. Most of these freelancers are European and they lack a basic understanding of America, this means that they lack the ability to tell the stories in such a way that engages American viewers; who always ask the question : "Why should I care?". The other problem is that when events blow up and the networks finally send an in house reporters to the scene, they often lack knowledge about the situation's back-story and they lack knowledge of the nuance found in the local culture that can better explain the underlying situations. As a result, Americans get a handicapped version of the events by reporters who don't know better.
The worst part of news today is the Tablification of the mainstream. This is a direct result of the OJ Simpson trial and the wall-to-wall coverage that it received from every network. It was a giant set backwards from the highpoint of Cable news: The start of Desert Storm on CNN. CNN's downward spiral can be traced to it's relocation to New York City from Atlanta. The advantage CNN had over every other network was that it wasn't based in New York, so there was no inbreeding with the other networks and this gave them a better view of the world. That's gone today as CNN has sold it's soul for ratings.
So this means that it's up to you, loyal reader, to develop a foundation of knowledge on a wide spectrum of issues so that when you come across a small story buried in the newspaper you can treat it like you would a box-score from a baseball game. The Box-Score was an exercise from my high school Journalism class. You had to write a narrative of a baseball game using only a box-score. Obviously, the more you know about baseball the better job you'll do but even with just the definition of the abbreviations and symbols anybody can write a basic run-down of the game. It's not fair that we all have to work harder but the good news is that it's harder for the news to pull something over on you.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Evolution Continues
I'm sitting in my car eating lunch. It's a nice sunny day and the parking lot is about half full and I watch the world go by as I take in the news that's on the radio. My eyes drift around and take in the familiar surroundings and I spot something hopping around the SUV parked across from me. I focus in to see a small bird, a Finch possibly, hop up onto the front bumper and begin surveying the grill. It then plucks a fat bug from the radiator grill and then flies off. I then notice that there's a small army of birds hopping and popping around inspecting every car for bug-kill and I see that they're ignoring other parts of the car and concentrate on the front grill.
That's because the heat of the engine cooks the bugs.
I think about those birds that hang out on the backs of African Crocodiles picking off ticks and parasites. It makes me wonder how these birds might evolve in the future. I wonder if they will evolve to eventually understand the automobile enough to one day repair them.
I then think about what the impact on these birds will be when cars go the way of the horse. Will their taste for cooked butterflies be such that they cannot go back to regular old insects?
Either way, I think that it's cool when nature figures out a way to live with us instead of the other way around.
That's because the heat of the engine cooks the bugs.
I think about those birds that hang out on the backs of African Crocodiles picking off ticks and parasites. It makes me wonder how these birds might evolve in the future. I wonder if they will evolve to eventually understand the automobile enough to one day repair them.
I then think about what the impact on these birds will be when cars go the way of the horse. Will their taste for cooked butterflies be such that they cannot go back to regular old insects?
Either way, I think that it's cool when nature figures out a way to live with us instead of the other way around.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Stuff I Always Wondered About Superman.
What if Superman gets a boner? Does it punch out through his shorts, or does he get his shorts from the same people who make the Incredible Hulk’s pants?
If he get’s diarrhea, can he use a regular toilet? Or does he have to fly all the way up to the fortress of solitude to use a special Kryptonian shitter? Could Superman use his diarrhea as a weapon? If he doesn’t quite make it to the Fortress Of Solitude, can he use a volcano? If he goes in his pants, will the force of his Kryptonian diarrhea blow his boots off?
If Superman craps his pants, can he wash them in a regular washing machine?
If you break it, you’ve bought it. How much has this cost Superman over the years?
Since Krypton’s sun was more powerful, does Superman’s snot dry? Ever?
When Superman farts, how long does the stink last?
If his farts smell real bad, does he have to fart in space?
What if Superman’s farts smell good? What if they smell like Popcorn, Coffee or Cinnamon? If they did, do you think he’d tell anybody about it? I mean, every time someone made a fresh pot of coffee they’d be all “Jeez, Superman must have had Tacos last night!” Worse, Lex Luther would give him an embarrassing nick name like “Redenbacher”.
How it is that Superman never gets a wedgie?
Do you think that Superman’s sperm is powerful enough to get a woman pregnant even if he bangs her in the ass? If a baby was conceived in this way, would it grow to love Superman? Or would it grow to hate him because it was a butthole-baby?
What kind of super powers would a Butthole – baby have? Would the fact that it was conceived in a colon instead of a uterus negate the half that is Kryptonian?
Does Superman use the Justice League’s super computer to download really good porn?
Even though he can fly, do you think Superman drives to work to the Justice League headquarters? If he does, will he use his own parking spot or does he park where ever the hell he want’s to because he’s Superman, bitch!
If he get’s diarrhea, can he use a regular toilet? Or does he have to fly all the way up to the fortress of solitude to use a special Kryptonian shitter? Could Superman use his diarrhea as a weapon? If he doesn’t quite make it to the Fortress Of Solitude, can he use a volcano? If he goes in his pants, will the force of his Kryptonian diarrhea blow his boots off?
If Superman craps his pants, can he wash them in a regular washing machine?
If you break it, you’ve bought it. How much has this cost Superman over the years?
Since Krypton’s sun was more powerful, does Superman’s snot dry? Ever?
When Superman farts, how long does the stink last?
If his farts smell real bad, does he have to fart in space?
What if Superman’s farts smell good? What if they smell like Popcorn, Coffee or Cinnamon? If they did, do you think he’d tell anybody about it? I mean, every time someone made a fresh pot of coffee they’d be all “Jeez, Superman must have had Tacos last night!” Worse, Lex Luther would give him an embarrassing nick name like “Redenbacher”.
How it is that Superman never gets a wedgie?
Do you think that Superman’s sperm is powerful enough to get a woman pregnant even if he bangs her in the ass? If a baby was conceived in this way, would it grow to love Superman? Or would it grow to hate him because it was a butthole-baby?
What kind of super powers would a Butthole – baby have? Would the fact that it was conceived in a colon instead of a uterus negate the half that is Kryptonian?
Does Superman use the Justice League’s super computer to download really good porn?
Even though he can fly, do you think Superman drives to work to the Justice League headquarters? If he does, will he use his own parking spot or does he park where ever the hell he want’s to because he’s Superman, bitch!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Iraq: The Way Out.
It's time to blow this taco stand.
We've done everything that we can for Iraq. There's a point in a military operation where you have to ask the questions : "What will change if we stay?" and "What will change if we leave?".
If the answer to both questions is "Nothing" then the operation has reached it's null point.
I supported this invasion and I still think that it has been a worthwhile mission on our part. The way I see it we've had all the success that we're going to. Anything more relies on the Iraqi people and they've demonstrated that they're not willing to step up and function as a society. They've regressed into a tribal state and it's like balancing a marble on a two by four to keep any kind of peace in that country. I know Al Qaeda's there, I know that they have tax-collectors and torture shops set up in various towns, but the locals know where they are and they're not telling our forces where they're located. I know Iran is asserting itself, but I think Iran is making a mistake that it will pay for in the future and it will have nothing to do with us.
Hand it over to Special Forces and the Air Force.
If all we need to do is train the Iraqi Army then we need to hand this task over to Special Forces. Army SF guys are the best at this task anyway as it is part of their job as is counter-insurgency. If the only forces left in Iraq are the most qualified to deal with the problems as they are now then it puts the US and Iraq in the best situation. What is need isn't a complete with drawl but a visibly smaller footprint, a draw-down to a smaller force of Special Operators and a Quick Reaction force of Rangers and/or armored Cav should do the trick. Part of the problem now is that it sucks to be an Iraqi right now and every time they see a tank, helicopter or convoy they find an easy target for their anger. It doesn't matter if the anger is justified or not, we're the visible factor and we're foreigners so we're easy targets. If we draw down to a few forces, who are based out in the desert, then our presence will no longer be as obvious and Iraqis will look elsewhere for solutions. Iraqis can be clever when they want to be and our large numbers there allow them to be lazy about their own situation. If they don't see us on the corner any more and they realize that their problems are now THEIR PROBLEM then we will get progress in that country.
Here's the bad news...
We're going to still have forces in the Persian Gulf even after we leave Iraq, just as we have since 1979. Iran is still a problem and the situation that we'll be leaving in Iraq will require attention from time to time (yes, we might even have to go back in at some point). A draw-down frees up manpower for Afghanistan and takes pressure off of the National Guard and reserves.
We've done a lot of good in Iraq. Our forces have much to be proud of and in the end, taking Saddam Hussein out of the picture has made this whole expedition worthwhile. Our soldiers have prevailed in spite of some lousy leadership at the Pentagon and have succeeded in what should have been impossible missions. It's just that aside from the Kurds, there's nobody in Iraq left worth dying for. Turning the situation over to a small, elite force gives the bad guys there fewer targets to hit, and it will allow us to continue the mission in a way that will make that has the most promise for all involved. This plan would allow the President to "Stay the course" and it would also allow the military to take a breather and it gives the Democrats news images of soldiers coming home. Everybody wins.
Wasn't that the idea to begin with?
We've done everything that we can for Iraq. There's a point in a military operation where you have to ask the questions : "What will change if we stay?" and "What will change if we leave?".
If the answer to both questions is "Nothing" then the operation has reached it's null point.
I supported this invasion and I still think that it has been a worthwhile mission on our part. The way I see it we've had all the success that we're going to. Anything more relies on the Iraqi people and they've demonstrated that they're not willing to step up and function as a society. They've regressed into a tribal state and it's like balancing a marble on a two by four to keep any kind of peace in that country. I know Al Qaeda's there, I know that they have tax-collectors and torture shops set up in various towns, but the locals know where they are and they're not telling our forces where they're located. I know Iran is asserting itself, but I think Iran is making a mistake that it will pay for in the future and it will have nothing to do with us.
Hand it over to Special Forces and the Air Force.
If all we need to do is train the Iraqi Army then we need to hand this task over to Special Forces. Army SF guys are the best at this task anyway as it is part of their job as is counter-insurgency. If the only forces left in Iraq are the most qualified to deal with the problems as they are now then it puts the US and Iraq in the best situation. What is need isn't a complete with drawl but a visibly smaller footprint, a draw-down to a smaller force of Special Operators and a Quick Reaction force of Rangers and/or armored Cav should do the trick. Part of the problem now is that it sucks to be an Iraqi right now and every time they see a tank, helicopter or convoy they find an easy target for their anger. It doesn't matter if the anger is justified or not, we're the visible factor and we're foreigners so we're easy targets. If we draw down to a few forces, who are based out in the desert, then our presence will no longer be as obvious and Iraqis will look elsewhere for solutions. Iraqis can be clever when they want to be and our large numbers there allow them to be lazy about their own situation. If they don't see us on the corner any more and they realize that their problems are now THEIR PROBLEM then we will get progress in that country.
Here's the bad news...
We're going to still have forces in the Persian Gulf even after we leave Iraq, just as we have since 1979. Iran is still a problem and the situation that we'll be leaving in Iraq will require attention from time to time (yes, we might even have to go back in at some point). A draw-down frees up manpower for Afghanistan and takes pressure off of the National Guard and reserves.
We've done a lot of good in Iraq. Our forces have much to be proud of and in the end, taking Saddam Hussein out of the picture has made this whole expedition worthwhile. Our soldiers have prevailed in spite of some lousy leadership at the Pentagon and have succeeded in what should have been impossible missions. It's just that aside from the Kurds, there's nobody in Iraq left worth dying for. Turning the situation over to a small, elite force gives the bad guys there fewer targets to hit, and it will allow us to continue the mission in a way that will make that has the most promise for all involved. This plan would allow the President to "Stay the course" and it would also allow the military to take a breather and it gives the Democrats news images of soldiers coming home. Everybody wins.
Wasn't that the idea to begin with?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Virginia Tech, Can the Media Hit A Record Fo Milking A Subject?
The cable news networks were in rare form this week.
They had a tragedy land about 4 hours away from media centers in Washington DC. They had their cookie-cutter templates ready and they had a subject (Hand guns) that they already had an angle and experts whom to call. The only thing more out of control was the shooter (no, I won't mention his name. Fuck him) were the reporters who decended on that poor campus before the bodies were cold. While the tragedy stands alone, the tragedies to follow because of a rabid and frothing news media will be countless.
I could give my usual breakdown of media failings and overkill but out of respect for the fallen I'll wait and see how it developes.
Expcet:
Computer animations recreating where everyone was shot.
Interviews with wounded students.
Lots of "Expert" commentary about security and mental health.
Plenty of crying.
You just watch....or better yet - change the channel
They had a tragedy land about 4 hours away from media centers in Washington DC. They had their cookie-cutter templates ready and they had a subject (Hand guns) that they already had an angle and experts whom to call. The only thing more out of control was the shooter (no, I won't mention his name. Fuck him) were the reporters who decended on that poor campus before the bodies were cold. While the tragedy stands alone, the tragedies to follow because of a rabid and frothing news media will be countless.
I could give my usual breakdown of media failings and overkill but out of respect for the fallen I'll wait and see how it developes.
Expcet:
Computer animations recreating where everyone was shot.
Interviews with wounded students.
Lots of "Expert" commentary about security and mental health.
Plenty of crying.
You just watch....or better yet - change the channel
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Keeping Busy
I haven't posted in a while. I think this happens to a lot of normal people who blog.
In my case, there's just been a lot of chaos around the Axxman household. My Mother and brother are ill, and some crazy do-gooder decided to "Help" us by tearing out our floors and putting in new carpet. At least that was the plan, we did get new carpet in the front of the house but not the back. The guys who put in the floor didn't know what they were doing (evidently there are "Floor Guys") so the linoleum people couldn't put down the new floor. The floors WERE in bad shape, there has been serious water damage and since I'm disabled there is no way I can repair them without help. The thing is that I actually have the tools to do this part, I just need someone to coach me through the set up. So, now I get to repair the repairs.
The best part, all of this "Donated" work cost me around $1200. So I'm looking for a second job to pay off my credit card.
So my book writing has gone to shit. When I'm at home I feel like I've got a million things to do and they're all sitting on my shoulders. I'm thinking of taking my laptop out to Fort Ord and sitting under an Oak tree or inside one of the barracks and writing there. I'm at the point where I just want to finish this and go back to school. The only reason that I don't quit all together is because I owe the men of the 7th Infantry Division, they're counting on me. So I will drive on.
I hope I don't come off as depressed because for some reason I'm not. I've lost 30 lbs and things have been much worse. I think I'm just overwhelmed.
In my case, there's just been a lot of chaos around the Axxman household. My Mother and brother are ill, and some crazy do-gooder decided to "Help" us by tearing out our floors and putting in new carpet. At least that was the plan, we did get new carpet in the front of the house but not the back. The guys who put in the floor didn't know what they were doing (evidently there are "Floor Guys") so the linoleum people couldn't put down the new floor. The floors WERE in bad shape, there has been serious water damage and since I'm disabled there is no way I can repair them without help. The thing is that I actually have the tools to do this part, I just need someone to coach me through the set up. So, now I get to repair the repairs.
The best part, all of this "Donated" work cost me around $1200. So I'm looking for a second job to pay off my credit card.
So my book writing has gone to shit. When I'm at home I feel like I've got a million things to do and they're all sitting on my shoulders. I'm thinking of taking my laptop out to Fort Ord and sitting under an Oak tree or inside one of the barracks and writing there. I'm at the point where I just want to finish this and go back to school. The only reason that I don't quit all together is because I owe the men of the 7th Infantry Division, they're counting on me. So I will drive on.
I hope I don't come off as depressed because for some reason I'm not. I've lost 30 lbs and things have been much worse. I think I'm just overwhelmed.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
So a Former Centerfold Died Today
I’m at the computer writing and listening to the radio when around noon the announcement about Anna Nicole Smith being found dead in her hotel room comes. I’m not surprised for a variety of reasons and I continue working. About an hour later, as I’m fixing lunch I switch on MSNBC and to my horror they’ve got wall to wall coverage of her death. Then I switch over to CNN and damned if Wolf Blitzer and his team aren’t doing the same damned thing. He’s got their house doctor speculating on how she may have died, as if he’s psychic, instead of being professional and waiting until they had the facts. The local news had scrambled a helicopter so they could get footage of her body. I’d expect this from the tabloid media, but NEVER from mainstream media (i.e. Professional news departments), worse than that, there was no hint of guilt. They all jumped on this story like…flies on shit.
Can any professional journalist or news person answer these questions?
Can you name ONE movie that she starred in?
Other than the Playmate of the Year (Playboy), what significant achievement had she accomplished?
If she had not married a 92 year old Texas Billionaire, would she have captured the imagination of the media?
What did Anna Nicole Smith do to warrant a helicopter fly-over to photograph her dead body being loaded into an ambulance?
For those of you who are of average intelligence, you already know the answer but for you professional journalist/serious reporter types, let me give you the answer:
NOTHING.
Not a goddamned thing. The only reason Anna Nicole Smith was famous is because the MEDIA decided she was good for business. Without Anna, there’d be no Paris Hilton, another vapid, drug-addled, no-talent skank. Cold blooded? You bet! Anna Nicole Smith sold her soul to the only thing worse than Satan – the Hollywood Entertainment Industrial Complex. She didn’t care who or what she had to do to stay in the small spotlight she was in. Her “Reality Show” was a depiction of a brain-damaged woman walking around in Hollywood, the only place in the world where nobody noticed nor cared about her obvious handicap, a town where intelligent people make decisions that only someone with a serious brain injury would make. Instead of getting this woman serious help, they made it into entertainment and then everyone else could Yuk it up. Then she had plastic surgery and then endorsed a diet supplement for big bucks, at least until she put weight back on. Then she dropped out of the spotlight for a while only to drop back into it when her sun died from drug-related complications. She then used her son’s death to pull that spotlight back onto herself, granting interviews to “The Insider” and “Entertainment Tonight” (ET) as well as MSNBC, FOX and CNN. She was oblivious to the fact that this spotlight showed that she had surrounded herself with people who obviously didn’t have her best interest (health) at heart. In the last week before she died. ET and the Insider both were in her face, asking her if her new husband had murdered her teenaged son. They were grilling her hard to. Like she was some kind of master criminal, I mean the USC marching band could have come into her hospital room and killed her son with a chainsaw while playing the theme to Shaft and she wouldn’t have caught on.
But she did understand what they were accusing her of. So she hit the meds, maybe the booze too. I don’t know. Maybe she tripped and fell. I will wait and see what the cause of death is.
The thing about this goes back to my central problem with the news media. I never saw the Vice President grilled like Anna Nicole Smith was by ET. I’ve never seen any public official in the last 15 years get a serious interrogation like Ms. Smith received. She was a NOBODY, at best a Playboy Playmate; she never controlled the fate of millions of people. Her finger was nowhere near the nuclear button; she never sent men off to war or raised our taxes. She didn’t cure disease, she didn’t write laws; defend the poor or even act. Yet she was a star, a D-List star, but a star and only because the media said so. So the media made her and then killed her.
This over-coverage is a form of misdirection, they’re diverting our attention to the real culprits behind her death – them. The media killed a stupid woman today. A woman who was maybe intellectually 10 years old. Did they head off a war? No. Did they uncover a great fraud? No. Uncover government waste? No.
They killed a fat Barbie Doll.
Can any professional journalist or news person answer these questions?
Can you name ONE movie that she starred in?
Other than the Playmate of the Year (Playboy), what significant achievement had she accomplished?
If she had not married a 92 year old Texas Billionaire, would she have captured the imagination of the media?
What did Anna Nicole Smith do to warrant a helicopter fly-over to photograph her dead body being loaded into an ambulance?
For those of you who are of average intelligence, you already know the answer but for you professional journalist/serious reporter types, let me give you the answer:
NOTHING.
Not a goddamned thing. The only reason Anna Nicole Smith was famous is because the MEDIA decided she was good for business. Without Anna, there’d be no Paris Hilton, another vapid, drug-addled, no-talent skank. Cold blooded? You bet! Anna Nicole Smith sold her soul to the only thing worse than Satan – the Hollywood Entertainment Industrial Complex. She didn’t care who or what she had to do to stay in the small spotlight she was in. Her “Reality Show” was a depiction of a brain-damaged woman walking around in Hollywood, the only place in the world where nobody noticed nor cared about her obvious handicap, a town where intelligent people make decisions that only someone with a serious brain injury would make. Instead of getting this woman serious help, they made it into entertainment and then everyone else could Yuk it up. Then she had plastic surgery and then endorsed a diet supplement for big bucks, at least until she put weight back on. Then she dropped out of the spotlight for a while only to drop back into it when her sun died from drug-related complications. She then used her son’s death to pull that spotlight back onto herself, granting interviews to “The Insider” and “Entertainment Tonight” (ET) as well as MSNBC, FOX and CNN. She was oblivious to the fact that this spotlight showed that she had surrounded herself with people who obviously didn’t have her best interest (health) at heart. In the last week before she died. ET and the Insider both were in her face, asking her if her new husband had murdered her teenaged son. They were grilling her hard to. Like she was some kind of master criminal, I mean the USC marching band could have come into her hospital room and killed her son with a chainsaw while playing the theme to Shaft and she wouldn’t have caught on.
But she did understand what they were accusing her of. So she hit the meds, maybe the booze too. I don’t know. Maybe she tripped and fell. I will wait and see what the cause of death is.
The thing about this goes back to my central problem with the news media. I never saw the Vice President grilled like Anna Nicole Smith was by ET. I’ve never seen any public official in the last 15 years get a serious interrogation like Ms. Smith received. She was a NOBODY, at best a Playboy Playmate; she never controlled the fate of millions of people. Her finger was nowhere near the nuclear button; she never sent men off to war or raised our taxes. She didn’t cure disease, she didn’t write laws; defend the poor or even act. Yet she was a star, a D-List star, but a star and only because the media said so. So the media made her and then killed her.
This over-coverage is a form of misdirection, they’re diverting our attention to the real culprits behind her death – them. The media killed a stupid woman today. A woman who was maybe intellectually 10 years old. Did they head off a war? No. Did they uncover a great fraud? No. Uncover government waste? No.
They killed a fat Barbie Doll.
Monday, January 29, 2007
I Want Answers! Damn You!
Okay, a question was asked over at the Van Halen Links forum about the latest issue of Guitar World magazine’s interview with Eddie Van Halen. The guy wanted to know why they didn’t ask about a bunch of non-guitar stuff, which is a fair question, but then others piled on demanding that “Hard Hitting “questions be asked of the legendary guitarist. Questions about his *alleged** drinking, why he had fired Michael Anthony and a bunch of other stuff. I have to ask why Eddie should have to answer these questions. They’re only going to piss off the haters anyway and the answers won’t make much sense to anybody but Eddie. The actual interview focused on the creation of his infamous red & white striped guitar , nicknamed “Frankenstein”, which Eddie had constructed himself back in 1976. It’s a good article and any guitar playing Van Halen fan will get a kick out of it. It’s understandable that since Eddie has been out of the spotlight for a few years that fans will have questions, but Eddie is usually a pretty open guy and he will get around to filling in the blanks.
But it got me thinking about something that has pissed me off for a while now.
What the hell is anybody doing asking a 50-something Eddie Van Halen, or any other celebrity for that matter, hard-hitting questions? What possible good will it do if you knew what Eddie’s been doing IN HIS PRIVATE LIFE? Some magazine writer is supposed to nail Eddie to the wall for feeling sad because his Mother died? Because he had cancer? Because he divorced Valerie Bertinelli? WHY? How do the answers to any of those questions move the human race forward? How does knowing the depths of Eddie’s suffering enhance his music? A decent person wouldn’t ask those questions because morally they’re obscene. Yet in most major celebrity rags this kind of crap is now standard. Worse, some celebrities indulge the media with their legion of personal flaws. Some celebrities have become celebrities purely because of their personal life (Anna Nicole Smith is at the top of the list) and the media and a frightening number of people go along with it. Worse, they expect other celebrities to degrade themselves too. So when an old-school guy like Eddie Van Halen doesn’t view his divorce or his mother’s death as a reason to call up VH-1 and arrange to film a reality TV show around his suffering; a disappointingly large number of Van Halen “fans” have turned the simple guitarist into a cross between Joe Stalin and Gene Simmons. It is a sign of our society’s declining civility that these angry fans are unaware just how immoral and inhuman they are.
I give points to Eddie Van Halen and his brother Alex for having the good sense and self respect to keep their personal issues out of the public domain. It means that their late mother raised them well.
My other problem is that while Matt Lauer is grilling Tom Cruise about a subject that neither one know enough about to write a freshman 1st quarter paper, no journalist are asking hard questions in interviews with important people. The people who run our banks, hospitals, health insurance, highways, schools, and the Pentagon seem to get a pass except when a situation develops. Nobody questioned the accuracy of US intelligence on Iraqi WMDs. If they had asked, oh say back in 1998, when President Clinton bombed Iraq for failure to comply with UN resolutions and deal a serious blow to Saddam’s ability to produce, store and threaten his neighbors with WMDs, what is the intelligence for these raids? You might have found out that the Intel came from satellites and Iraqi ex-patriots with questionable backgrounds and motives. We might also have found out that the United States had only ONE CIA agent inside of Iraq during the 1990s and that Iraq had been relegated to the back-burner in the US intel world, leaving thousands of Gulf War documents untranslated and literally rotting away at a Virginia CIA storage facility. Nobody asked in 1998, nobody asked in 2003. To be fair, the Iraqi Army thought that they had WMDs in 2003 too, but we might have gotten a better picture of how fucked up our intelligence agencies were (and are). We might have even headed off 9/11. Who knows?
Why is it that nobody asked hard hitting questions from the Dotcom industry before the Tech-Bubble burst? Why was Bethany McLean the only financial journalist to look at Enron’s numbers and then ask “What the fuck?” just like many of the same financial journalists failed to notice the whole S&L scandal thingie of the 1980s? The news media has been patting itself on the back since Watergate, so they’re out looking for the next big story instead of doing their jobs and reporting on the little ones. Watergate started as a little story about a break-in at the Democratic Party headquarters, today’s Washington D.C. press corps and beat reporters would never have caught on to Nixon and his crew because they … well… suck. They confuse buzz and common wisdom with facts, so they screw up almost every story that comes out of Washington. The war in Iraq cannot be won, they tell us, even though it is being won right now. You know things are bad when the National Enquirer can do a better job covering a news story than NBC or CNN can.
So, while sad little men are demanding answers from Eddie Van Halen that are nobody’s beeswax , nobody’s watching the store in Washington D.C, your state’s capitol, your city hall or your bank.
But it got me thinking about something that has pissed me off for a while now.
What the hell is anybody doing asking a 50-something Eddie Van Halen, or any other celebrity for that matter, hard-hitting questions? What possible good will it do if you knew what Eddie’s been doing IN HIS PRIVATE LIFE? Some magazine writer is supposed to nail Eddie to the wall for feeling sad because his Mother died? Because he had cancer? Because he divorced Valerie Bertinelli? WHY? How do the answers to any of those questions move the human race forward? How does knowing the depths of Eddie’s suffering enhance his music? A decent person wouldn’t ask those questions because morally they’re obscene. Yet in most major celebrity rags this kind of crap is now standard. Worse, some celebrities indulge the media with their legion of personal flaws. Some celebrities have become celebrities purely because of their personal life (Anna Nicole Smith is at the top of the list) and the media and a frightening number of people go along with it. Worse, they expect other celebrities to degrade themselves too. So when an old-school guy like Eddie Van Halen doesn’t view his divorce or his mother’s death as a reason to call up VH-1 and arrange to film a reality TV show around his suffering; a disappointingly large number of Van Halen “fans” have turned the simple guitarist into a cross between Joe Stalin and Gene Simmons. It is a sign of our society’s declining civility that these angry fans are unaware just how immoral and inhuman they are.
I give points to Eddie Van Halen and his brother Alex for having the good sense and self respect to keep their personal issues out of the public domain. It means that their late mother raised them well.
My other problem is that while Matt Lauer is grilling Tom Cruise about a subject that neither one know enough about to write a freshman 1st quarter paper, no journalist are asking hard questions in interviews with important people. The people who run our banks, hospitals, health insurance, highways, schools, and the Pentagon seem to get a pass except when a situation develops. Nobody questioned the accuracy of US intelligence on Iraqi WMDs. If they had asked, oh say back in 1998, when President Clinton bombed Iraq for failure to comply with UN resolutions and deal a serious blow to Saddam’s ability to produce, store and threaten his neighbors with WMDs, what is the intelligence for these raids? You might have found out that the Intel came from satellites and Iraqi ex-patriots with questionable backgrounds and motives. We might also have found out that the United States had only ONE CIA agent inside of Iraq during the 1990s and that Iraq had been relegated to the back-burner in the US intel world, leaving thousands of Gulf War documents untranslated and literally rotting away at a Virginia CIA storage facility. Nobody asked in 1998, nobody asked in 2003. To be fair, the Iraqi Army thought that they had WMDs in 2003 too, but we might have gotten a better picture of how fucked up our intelligence agencies were (and are). We might have even headed off 9/11. Who knows?
Why is it that nobody asked hard hitting questions from the Dotcom industry before the Tech-Bubble burst? Why was Bethany McLean the only financial journalist to look at Enron’s numbers and then ask “What the fuck?” just like many of the same financial journalists failed to notice the whole S&L scandal thingie of the 1980s? The news media has been patting itself on the back since Watergate, so they’re out looking for the next big story instead of doing their jobs and reporting on the little ones. Watergate started as a little story about a break-in at the Democratic Party headquarters, today’s Washington D.C. press corps and beat reporters would never have caught on to Nixon and his crew because they … well… suck. They confuse buzz and common wisdom with facts, so they screw up almost every story that comes out of Washington. The war in Iraq cannot be won, they tell us, even though it is being won right now. You know things are bad when the National Enquirer can do a better job covering a news story than NBC or CNN can.
So, while sad little men are demanding answers from Eddie Van Halen that are nobody’s beeswax , nobody’s watching the store in Washington D.C, your state’s capitol, your city hall or your bank.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
A Quick Thought On Iraq
Even before Bush made his announcement, the political games had started. The Democratic Party is hell bent on loosing the White House and they Congressional majority as quickly as they can. When I say games I mean GAMES. The President doesn't need Congresses permission to send more soldiers to Iraq or anywhere else, they know this but they can't help playing games. A "Non-Binding Resolution Against More Troops In Iraq"? That's simply hot air, a do-nothing, feel-good move on a questionable principle.
Then Harry Read(D, asset,Nevada) makes a statement that the President cannot make a move on Iran without permission from Congress. What a fucking moron. The President can invade any country he wants to for 90 days, at little thing called the "War Powers Act" says so. Plus, and this is the saddest thing, the President isn't planning on making any moves on Iran, nor has he even threatened Iran. However IRAN HAS THREATENED US.
So who's fucking side is Read on? Ours or Iran? If he sides with Iran, why? Is it because Iran has pledged to wipe Israel off of the map? I doubt Read is anti-Semitic, I think he's a dipshit.
Lost in all of the Capitol Hill BS is this fact, Rumsfeld is gone.
We have a SecDef who understands counter-insurgency, we also have a SecDef who would have kept us out of Iraq had he been in charge in 2003. Bob Gates talked the President out of a massive troop increase and down to the 20,000 that he now plans to send. These 20,000 troops are mission specific, have specific tasks and have a limited time table in country. In short, this is smart. As soon as Gates took over, things on the operational level in Iraq changed. We have been attacking insurgent and terrorist strongholds intensely every day and have become more aggressive over all. We will see a draw down of those 20,000 plus an additional 30,000 by the end of this year. Things are getting back on track in Iraq, thanks to Bob Gates, the democrats should shut the hell up and give the President this one last shot.
Then Harry Read(D, asset,Nevada) makes a statement that the President cannot make a move on Iran without permission from Congress. What a fucking moron. The President can invade any country he wants to for 90 days, at little thing called the "War Powers Act" says so. Plus, and this is the saddest thing, the President isn't planning on making any moves on Iran, nor has he even threatened Iran. However IRAN HAS THREATENED US.
So who's fucking side is Read on? Ours or Iran? If he sides with Iran, why? Is it because Iran has pledged to wipe Israel off of the map? I doubt Read is anti-Semitic, I think he's a dipshit.
Lost in all of the Capitol Hill BS is this fact, Rumsfeld is gone.
We have a SecDef who understands counter-insurgency, we also have a SecDef who would have kept us out of Iraq had he been in charge in 2003. Bob Gates talked the President out of a massive troop increase and down to the 20,000 that he now plans to send. These 20,000 troops are mission specific, have specific tasks and have a limited time table in country. In short, this is smart. As soon as Gates took over, things on the operational level in Iraq changed. We have been attacking insurgent and terrorist strongholds intensely every day and have become more aggressive over all. We will see a draw down of those 20,000 plus an additional 30,000 by the end of this year. Things are getting back on track in Iraq, thanks to Bob Gates, the democrats should shut the hell up and give the President this one last shot.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Well, What Do You Know?
Here's the burger update.
I have had a few burgers here and there but I'm definately at a 80% reduction. I even bring my own lunch to work a couple of days.
I've lost 12 lbs.
This is freaking me out. I'm not exercising more. I'm just eating better.
Just.....damn.
Who knew?
I have had a few burgers here and there but I'm definately at a 80% reduction. I even bring my own lunch to work a couple of days.
I've lost 12 lbs.
This is freaking me out. I'm not exercising more. I'm just eating better.
Just.....damn.
Who knew?
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Talk Around The Water Cooler
I'm watching G4's "Attack of the Show", and they tease a segment by saying that coming up they will tell you about what people will be discussing at the water cooler next week. I then thought about my office and it dawned on me that nobody talks at the water cooler.
There is almost no discussion around the water cooler except about the water cooler itself, so while at other offices people are talking about Iraq or Britney's panties, we usually discuss why we go through so many cups. I point out that I have my own cup and then my GM mumbles to himself. Sometimes we talk about the green algae growing in the pan below the spigots and there is speculations as to why it's never cleaned. I leave a note for the night auditor, who's a germ-a-phobe and he will clean it in a panic. Beyond that, there are no worldly or topical discussions that are held around the water cooler. The most urgent conversation we've ever had was when we moved the water cooler and then found that it blocked the calendar, which is a colorful "On This Day In The Civil War" calendar that I bought for $2 on sale last February. We decided to move the calendar to another wall.
So when I hear about people talking around the water cooler I don't know if I'm supposed to be jealous or if I should feel sorry for them because they work somewhere that they can't goof off at will.
There is almost no discussion around the water cooler except about the water cooler itself, so while at other offices people are talking about Iraq or Britney's panties, we usually discuss why we go through so many cups. I point out that I have my own cup and then my GM mumbles to himself. Sometimes we talk about the green algae growing in the pan below the spigots and there is speculations as to why it's never cleaned. I leave a note for the night auditor, who's a germ-a-phobe and he will clean it in a panic. Beyond that, there are no worldly or topical discussions that are held around the water cooler. The most urgent conversation we've ever had was when we moved the water cooler and then found that it blocked the calendar, which is a colorful "On This Day In The Civil War" calendar that I bought for $2 on sale last February. We decided to move the calendar to another wall.
So when I hear about people talking around the water cooler I don't know if I'm supposed to be jealous or if I should feel sorry for them because they work somewhere that they can't goof off at will.
December 16th, I Think I'm On My Way
This thing is working.
Example:
Yesterday I was late in leaving the house and I wasn't going to have time to make it to my primary sandwich deli. For a good five seconds I was going to hit BK and order something other than a burger (which you know I would have pulled up and ordered one anyway), I could blame stress and time. Yet I did not do this. Instead, I drove to my backup deli (Casa Bodega) and got a sandwich AND a salad. This is uncharted territory for me. Even when I was a body builder there were always cheeseburgers. My dreams are even better now that I've kicked the habit.
As soon as things at home return to normal I will add exercise.
Example:
Yesterday I was late in leaving the house and I wasn't going to have time to make it to my primary sandwich deli. For a good five seconds I was going to hit BK and order something other than a burger (which you know I would have pulled up and ordered one anyway), I could blame stress and time. Yet I did not do this. Instead, I drove to my backup deli (Casa Bodega) and got a sandwich AND a salad. This is uncharted territory for me. Even when I was a body builder there were always cheeseburgers. My dreams are even better now that I've kicked the habit.
As soon as things at home return to normal I will add exercise.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Unless You Are A Doctor , Shut The Hell Up!
Although I'm posting about my kicking the burger habit, I haven't told any of my real-life friends (nobody reads this as far as I know). Here's what I hate about dieting, everybody's a fucking expert. You shouldn't eat those, you should do it this way and all kinds of unwanted, free advice flows my way from well meaning people.
If you really want to help me, shut the hell up.
I'm serious, I could give a fuck what you saw on Oprah and I don't care what your doctor told YOU. Don't tell me what you read in a book or heard on the radio and for God's sake don't tell me what you read on the internet. Shut up. First off, I have spent months talking with a dietition and doing some serious reading on eating healthy and I have to do things my way or I will not succeed.
In short, unless you are a doctor, I am smarter than you.
I'm the guy who has to live in this body, not you. I know what I can and can't do with it. I also have taken an honest look at my life and looked at what has worked and what has not. I lost 80lbs back in 1981 by cutting back on what I ate. I had gotten braces and wanted to keep the dental care to a minimum. That's what I'm sort of doing now. Along with my turkey sandwhich I've got pickles and I'm going to pick up dried fruit to nibble on.
You see, someone has to come along and give their opinion and it pisses me off. Anything that I eat now is 1000 times better than fast food, it's as simple as that. Yes, a pickle has a lot of salt, so the fuck what? Is it or is it not healthier than a #2 (Double Whopper w/Cheese and large fries)? Yes! Yes it is! So either shove that pickle up your ass or shut the hell up and leave me in peace. Don't talk to me about calories, starch or carbs, honestley, unless you're a doctor, you haven't got a clue as to what you're talking about.
Why do you have to be a doctor for me to listen to you? First off, the whole Medical School thing comes to play when a doctor talks to you about health. Doctors are to busy doctoring and playing golf to watch Oprah or read the latest celebrity diet book. So when a doctor gives me dietary advice it's from something he learned in Med School or read in a medical journal, not a tip from Doctor Phil (Yes, Dr Phil Mcgraw IS a doctor, and if I need psychologist he'd be the first guy I call).
When you weigh in with your stupid advice, you undermine me or the person who's trying to loose weight and change their life.
So shut your stupid mouth.
If you really want to help me, shut the hell up.
I'm serious, I could give a fuck what you saw on Oprah and I don't care what your doctor told YOU. Don't tell me what you read in a book or heard on the radio and for God's sake don't tell me what you read on the internet. Shut up. First off, I have spent months talking with a dietition and doing some serious reading on eating healthy and I have to do things my way or I will not succeed.
In short, unless you are a doctor, I am smarter than you.
I'm the guy who has to live in this body, not you. I know what I can and can't do with it. I also have taken an honest look at my life and looked at what has worked and what has not. I lost 80lbs back in 1981 by cutting back on what I ate. I had gotten braces and wanted to keep the dental care to a minimum. That's what I'm sort of doing now. Along with my turkey sandwhich I've got pickles and I'm going to pick up dried fruit to nibble on.
You see, someone has to come along and give their opinion and it pisses me off. Anything that I eat now is 1000 times better than fast food, it's as simple as that. Yes, a pickle has a lot of salt, so the fuck what? Is it or is it not healthier than a #2 (Double Whopper w/Cheese and large fries)? Yes! Yes it is! So either shove that pickle up your ass or shut the hell up and leave me in peace. Don't talk to me about calories, starch or carbs, honestley, unless you're a doctor, you haven't got a clue as to what you're talking about.
Why do you have to be a doctor for me to listen to you? First off, the whole Medical School thing comes to play when a doctor talks to you about health. Doctors are to busy doctoring and playing golf to watch Oprah or read the latest celebrity diet book. So when a doctor gives me dietary advice it's from something he learned in Med School or read in a medical journal, not a tip from Doctor Phil (Yes, Dr Phil Mcgraw IS a doctor, and if I need psychologist he'd be the first guy I call).
When you weigh in with your stupid advice, you undermine me or the person who's trying to loose weight and change their life.
So shut your stupid mouth.
December 13th, Okay I Had One Cheeseburger, Just One!
So it's Tuesday, 12/06, and since I'm going to go for a long walk I figure what the hell and pull into BK and get my usual. Something interesting happened. I didn't enjoy it like I always do, the patties seemed greasy and the french fries smelled funny. So I walked extra hard, in the rain and went home. Today, when I woke up this morning and made my breakfast I felt great and after a busy afternoon I went to my favorite Deli and ordered my Peper Turkey/Pepper Jack sandwich and had that for dinner.
Something about that burger yesterday hit me funny, maybe it was the rendered cooking oil on the fries or just the greasiness of the burger but I think I'm going to be okay. It's like my body is rejecting cheese burgers.
Estimated savings so far - $50!
Something about that burger yesterday hit me funny, maybe it was the rendered cooking oil on the fries or just the greasiness of the burger but I think I'm going to be okay. It's like my body is rejecting cheese burgers.
Estimated savings so far - $50!
Saturday, December 09, 2006
December 9, 2006 . Day One Without A Cheeseburger
There comes a point when a guy needs to get his shit together. Today was that day.
I'm just to fucking fat and out of shape and at my age it's hurting me in every way something can. It's effecting my health, my love life and my financial situation. I only eat two meals a day, often both are Burger King and Jack in the Box double cheese burgers. I don't even think about it. It's like my truck is on auto-pilot. I'm pretty sure that if I were to die of a heart attack on the highway that my truck will safely pull into the nearest drive-through.
So today I got up and cooked some eggs. Then I saw a movie and then went to work. There I had a couple of bags of unbuttered popcorn and V8 juice.
It's one day, tomorrow is another one. I will have access to a turkey sandwich tomorrow for dinner.
I'm just to fucking fat and out of shape and at my age it's hurting me in every way something can. It's effecting my health, my love life and my financial situation. I only eat two meals a day, often both are Burger King and Jack in the Box double cheese burgers. I don't even think about it. It's like my truck is on auto-pilot. I'm pretty sure that if I were to die of a heart attack on the highway that my truck will safely pull into the nearest drive-through.
So today I got up and cooked some eggs. Then I saw a movie and then went to work. There I had a couple of bags of unbuttered popcorn and V8 juice.
It's one day, tomorrow is another one. I will have access to a turkey sandwich tomorrow for dinner.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Axxman’s Solution To Ugly Politics
In this time of ugly and stupid political rhetoric, the time has come for our politicians and the people who cover them to cut the shit. Between the hot-air, grandstanding do-nothing politicians and the know-it-all, everyone who disagrees with me suck – radio and TV talk show hosts the country is sick of political discussion because it deteriorates into a grouse-fest. Nothing is getting done and fewer people vote each year because they’ve had it up to here.
This is why it’s time for a Constitutional Amendment mandating the Duel to resolve political infighting and name-calling. It was the great Aaron Burr who once said “In your face, Beeeyaaatch” as he stood over the dying Alexander Hamilton. The two had taken their political disagreement to its logical conclusion, Burr won. The nation mourned and Congress outlawed Dueling from that point on. This was a huge mistake. The Duel is a valuable too for maintaining civil discourse in a polite society. Here’s how the law would work:
Any person holding political office, or running for political office, who feels their character, has been impugned or that their position has been unfairly represented publicly; can call for a settling of the dispute by a Duel. The intent of a Duel must be announced by a slap of the face of the opponent; by bare hand or by the traditional set of riding gloves in available, striking hard enough to be heard and felt yet not as hard as to cause severe injury.
The Duel must be held within one week.
The Duel can be in a safe, public location or a private location with witnesses.
The Duel will be fought with a snub-nose, .38 caliber pistol. Each pistol will contain eight (8) rounds of hollow-point ammunition.
No ballistic vests may be worn.
The Duelists will be handed their weapons and stand back-to-back. A witness will begin counting out loud the numbers from one to ten (in numerical order). Upon reaching the number ten (10), both contestants will turn and begin firing their weapon. Each may fire their weapon until it is empty. At no time can either contestant approach the other while firing.
The Duel is over when both contestants have stopped firing. A contestant can cease fire after one round if he chooses to do so.
The contestant who is still alive, or has survivable wounds is the winner. If both are wounded, the contestant with the least damaging wounds is the winner. If both contestants are wounded equally the contest is a draw. If both contestants die, the contest is a draw.
There will be no dancing, cheering or celebration of any kind by the winning party.
If challenged to a Duel, it is not mandatory to accept. However, declining to fight in a Duel has consequences:
If one declines to Duel, they must apologize – daily – in public for 30 days.
They must acquiesce to the challenger all points at issue and never again make challenge.
If the one who declines is in the news media or has a talk show, they must remain silent on the challenger except to apologize.
Duels must be fought by the initial parties no substitutions are permitted by either side for any reason.
No limit will be made to the number of Duels that can be called by any one qualified person.
I think that the idea that you might have to face off against Nancy Pelosi or Trent Lott, armed with a .38 might make you choose your words much more carefully.
This is why it’s time for a Constitutional Amendment mandating the Duel to resolve political infighting and name-calling. It was the great Aaron Burr who once said “In your face, Beeeyaaatch” as he stood over the dying Alexander Hamilton. The two had taken their political disagreement to its logical conclusion, Burr won. The nation mourned and Congress outlawed Dueling from that point on. This was a huge mistake. The Duel is a valuable too for maintaining civil discourse in a polite society. Here’s how the law would work:
Any person holding political office, or running for political office, who feels their character, has been impugned or that their position has been unfairly represented publicly; can call for a settling of the dispute by a Duel. The intent of a Duel must be announced by a slap of the face of the opponent; by bare hand or by the traditional set of riding gloves in available, striking hard enough to be heard and felt yet not as hard as to cause severe injury.
The Duel must be held within one week.
The Duel can be in a safe, public location or a private location with witnesses.
The Duel will be fought with a snub-nose, .38 caliber pistol. Each pistol will contain eight (8) rounds of hollow-point ammunition.
No ballistic vests may be worn.
The Duelists will be handed their weapons and stand back-to-back. A witness will begin counting out loud the numbers from one to ten (in numerical order). Upon reaching the number ten (10), both contestants will turn and begin firing their weapon. Each may fire their weapon until it is empty. At no time can either contestant approach the other while firing.
The Duel is over when both contestants have stopped firing. A contestant can cease fire after one round if he chooses to do so.
The contestant who is still alive, or has survivable wounds is the winner. If both are wounded, the contestant with the least damaging wounds is the winner. If both contestants are wounded equally the contest is a draw. If both contestants die, the contest is a draw.
There will be no dancing, cheering or celebration of any kind by the winning party.
If challenged to a Duel, it is not mandatory to accept. However, declining to fight in a Duel has consequences:
If one declines to Duel, they must apologize – daily – in public for 30 days.
They must acquiesce to the challenger all points at issue and never again make challenge.
If the one who declines is in the news media or has a talk show, they must remain silent on the challenger except to apologize.
Duels must be fought by the initial parties no substitutions are permitted by either side for any reason.
No limit will be made to the number of Duels that can be called by any one qualified person.
I think that the idea that you might have to face off against Nancy Pelosi or Trent Lott, armed with a .38 might make you choose your words much more carefully.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Damn You, Cruel Brain!
My brain did it to me again. After a long night of dreaming about Nazi Zombie Lizards and hooking up computers to a giant router, my brain throws me this little cookie. Suddenly I’m standing behind the counter of a breakfast café’ that I used to frequent back in the 1980s. The waitresses there were all beautiful, which is why I frequented it, and now in my dream I’m back there. I look to my right and to my left and all the girls are there too – NAKED, I’m also naked and they seem to be really happy about the situation. There’s a lot of giggling and hugging and…
That’s where I woke up.
What? No! Not now! Jeeezis , why now? That’s not fair. See, I think it’s the brains way of making it up to you. I’m going to think about this all day, the girls, the giggling and my brain’s amazing recreation of something that never happened. In fact, I lay in bed for almost four minutes trying to remember if that actually had happened to me because it was so real. But no, it was my brain’s way of waking me up in such a way that I couldn’t go back to sleep. Still, I’m a little pissed off because I got three hours of Nazi Zombie Lizard hunting me through the ruins of Stalingrad and then another two hours of the IT problem from hell. Why not seven hours of happy stuff with the girls? Is that too much to ask for? I guess not.
I’ve gotten pretty good at lucid dreaming. I can fix on an image or a person and then dream about them most of the night. The thing is that my dreams still deal with dream stuff (solving problems, searching for McGuffins or standing around waiting) it’s just that Jennifer Aniston is along for the ride and that makes things better. I don’t know if the real Jennifer Aniston is as helpful as the one in my head but if she is she’s got a Nobel Prize coming to her down the road. However, Ms. Aniston is never naked. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe I’m too much of a gentleman(nerd) to take advantage of her in my head. Anyway, some nights it’s her, other nights it’s Cindy Crawford, Shiri Appleby or Brooke Shields. Even on the nights I don’t bring them along my lucid dreaming comes in handy. Take the Nazi Zombie Lizards, they never caught me because I set boobie traps and would counter attack and snipe at them as I made my way to the river. Some nights I just let my brain take me where it wants to take me. Dreams are important because it’s your subconscious’ way of telling you what’s wrong , clueing you into things that you didn’t know were bothering you.
Still, is it too much to ask for the naked waitresses again?
That’s where I woke up.
What? No! Not now! Jeeezis , why now? That’s not fair. See, I think it’s the brains way of making it up to you. I’m going to think about this all day, the girls, the giggling and my brain’s amazing recreation of something that never happened. In fact, I lay in bed for almost four minutes trying to remember if that actually had happened to me because it was so real. But no, it was my brain’s way of waking me up in such a way that I couldn’t go back to sleep. Still, I’m a little pissed off because I got three hours of Nazi Zombie Lizard hunting me through the ruins of Stalingrad and then another two hours of the IT problem from hell. Why not seven hours of happy stuff with the girls? Is that too much to ask for? I guess not.
I’ve gotten pretty good at lucid dreaming. I can fix on an image or a person and then dream about them most of the night. The thing is that my dreams still deal with dream stuff (solving problems, searching for McGuffins or standing around waiting) it’s just that Jennifer Aniston is along for the ride and that makes things better. I don’t know if the real Jennifer Aniston is as helpful as the one in my head but if she is she’s got a Nobel Prize coming to her down the road. However, Ms. Aniston is never naked. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe I’m too much of a gentleman(nerd) to take advantage of her in my head. Anyway, some nights it’s her, other nights it’s Cindy Crawford, Shiri Appleby or Brooke Shields. Even on the nights I don’t bring them along my lucid dreaming comes in handy. Take the Nazi Zombie Lizards, they never caught me because I set boobie traps and would counter attack and snipe at them as I made my way to the river. Some nights I just let my brain take me where it wants to take me. Dreams are important because it’s your subconscious’ way of telling you what’s wrong , clueing you into things that you didn’t know were bothering you.
Still, is it too much to ask for the naked waitresses again?
Friday, November 10, 2006
Having An Underground Lair Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be.
It seemed like a great at the time. It was a place to park my crime-fighting jet engine-powered crime fighting car, a place to store my wardrobe and cape and an out of the way place for a high-tech lab and Cray computer. I had fire-pole access from the study and I had a cool hologram to disguise the cave entrance. It wasn’t perfect, the place was always cold and damp; even with the small nuclear reactor I installed for power the place just never seemed to warm up. Then there was the summer when I had to deal with the bat infestation, those little brown bastards shit all over everything. They were hard to get rid off because I had to wait until they flew out at nightfall and then put screens up over all of the entrances. Still, it was a great place, at least until I got a youthful crime-fighting sidekick.
My sidekick, let’s call him Sparrow, talked me into putting in a bar in one unused corner of the Lair. He suggested that nothing would top off an evening of kicking the shit out of evil-doers like a nice cold beer. Well, sure enough, the bar went from a large cooler full of beers to a twelve-keg tap system. Sparrow started spending more and more time in the underground lair to the point where I had to change the lock and lay down the law. The guy was going through a keg every other day; he must have a bladder the size of Kansas. Sparrow promised to behave and after a while I trusted him with the key and he seemed to clean up his act. Then the gang at the Justice…uh, Bowling League finds out about the bar and sure enough they start dropping by and hanging out in MY underground lair. These guys all had their own secret hide-outs and bases, one even had a fortress of…something or other, but evidently none of them had thought about putting in a bar. You have to understand, these guys and gals are well known for high moral standards and ethics, but you’d think they were a bunch of college freshmen when they stop by the lair for a cold one.
Sparrow's busy playing bartender, what he’s trying to do is get in Won..uh, Princess Di’s pants. That ain’t gonna happen, Barry, Clark, Hal and I have all tried, she’s into Army guys. It’s just no fun, I mean these guys all have secret identities, why do they have to hang out at my place? Clark says his hide-out is too cold and nobody wants to go there. Prince Di is from an Island full of hot chicks, does she ever invite any of the league down for some fun in the sun? Hell no, the bitch. Anyway, my underground lair is just cool any more. Even when I’m trying to work, there’s some asshole in tights coming up to me and pointing at the giant LCD screen and asking “Hey, duth zat thing get ESPN?” Dude, I’m trying to solve a crime here, do you mind? Oh, and because it’s an underground lair, everybody thinks it’s just hilarious to pass gas as often as possible. Hal and his “Hey, do you want to know why they call me “Green Lantern?” schtick, you’d think after 159 time that he’d get tired of that but no. Then Clark Kent has to top him with ‘Hey gang, here’s why Krypton was destroyed!” Great, now I have to re-paint my car, thanks a lot, farm boy.
You know, I should have gone with a Penthouse with a secret room behind the book case. Maybe even a big yacht. But no, I had to have an underground lair. Why does everyone want to hang out in an underground lair anyway? At this point, I’m thinking that I should “Leak” the location to a couple of super villains so I have an excuse to shut the place down, but then I’ll end up with the reputation as the League party-pooper. Then it’s ‘Sorry, my X-ray vision isn’t working”, “No, I can’t help you, fight the giant robot by yourself”. You’d think the League would be above politics, the truth is that cape or not, the gang can be as petty as a high school cheerleading squad. My only way out is to talk the guys into initiating a new guy into the League, someone with an even better hide-out. That’s going to be hard though because the Marvel guys mostly live in their apartments or in their secret lab/penthouse.
Does anybody know if Hugh Heffner has any secret powers?
My sidekick, let’s call him Sparrow, talked me into putting in a bar in one unused corner of the Lair. He suggested that nothing would top off an evening of kicking the shit out of evil-doers like a nice cold beer. Well, sure enough, the bar went from a large cooler full of beers to a twelve-keg tap system. Sparrow started spending more and more time in the underground lair to the point where I had to change the lock and lay down the law. The guy was going through a keg every other day; he must have a bladder the size of Kansas. Sparrow promised to behave and after a while I trusted him with the key and he seemed to clean up his act. Then the gang at the Justice…uh, Bowling League finds out about the bar and sure enough they start dropping by and hanging out in MY underground lair. These guys all had their own secret hide-outs and bases, one even had a fortress of…something or other, but evidently none of them had thought about putting in a bar. You have to understand, these guys and gals are well known for high moral standards and ethics, but you’d think they were a bunch of college freshmen when they stop by the lair for a cold one.
Sparrow's busy playing bartender, what he’s trying to do is get in Won..uh, Princess Di’s pants. That ain’t gonna happen, Barry, Clark, Hal and I have all tried, she’s into Army guys. It’s just no fun, I mean these guys all have secret identities, why do they have to hang out at my place? Clark says his hide-out is too cold and nobody wants to go there. Prince Di is from an Island full of hot chicks, does she ever invite any of the league down for some fun in the sun? Hell no, the bitch. Anyway, my underground lair is just cool any more. Even when I’m trying to work, there’s some asshole in tights coming up to me and pointing at the giant LCD screen and asking “Hey, duth zat thing get ESPN?” Dude, I’m trying to solve a crime here, do you mind? Oh, and because it’s an underground lair, everybody thinks it’s just hilarious to pass gas as often as possible. Hal and his “Hey, do you want to know why they call me “Green Lantern?” schtick, you’d think after 159 time that he’d get tired of that but no. Then Clark Kent has to top him with ‘Hey gang, here’s why Krypton was destroyed!” Great, now I have to re-paint my car, thanks a lot, farm boy.
You know, I should have gone with a Penthouse with a secret room behind the book case. Maybe even a big yacht. But no, I had to have an underground lair. Why does everyone want to hang out in an underground lair anyway? At this point, I’m thinking that I should “Leak” the location to a couple of super villains so I have an excuse to shut the place down, but then I’ll end up with the reputation as the League party-pooper. Then it’s ‘Sorry, my X-ray vision isn’t working”, “No, I can’t help you, fight the giant robot by yourself”. You’d think the League would be above politics, the truth is that cape or not, the gang can be as petty as a high school cheerleading squad. My only way out is to talk the guys into initiating a new guy into the League, someone with an even better hide-out. That’s going to be hard though because the Marvel guys mostly live in their apartments or in their secret lab/penthouse.
Does anybody know if Hugh Heffner has any secret powers?
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