Saturday, December 16, 2006

Talk Around The Water Cooler

I'm watching G4's "Attack of the Show", and they tease a segment by saying that coming up they will tell you about what people will be discussing at the water cooler next week. I then thought about my office and it dawned on me that nobody talks at the water cooler.

There is almost no discussion around the water cooler except about the water cooler itself, so while at other offices people are talking about Iraq or Britney's panties, we usually discuss why we go through so many cups. I point out that I have my own cup and then my GM mumbles to himself. Sometimes we talk about the green algae growing in the pan below the spigots and there is speculations as to why it's never cleaned. I leave a note for the night auditor, who's a germ-a-phobe and he will clean it in a panic. Beyond that, there are no worldly or topical discussions that are held around the water cooler. The most urgent conversation we've ever had was when we moved the water cooler and then found that it blocked the calendar, which is a colorful "On This Day In The Civil War" calendar that I bought for $2 on sale last February. We decided to move the calendar to another wall.

So when I hear about people talking around the water cooler I don't know if I'm supposed to be jealous or if I should feel sorry for them because they work somewhere that they can't goof off at will.

December 16th, I Think I'm On My Way

This thing is working.


Yesterday I was late in leaving the house and I wasn't going to have time to make it to my primary sandwich deli. For a good five seconds I was going to hit BK and order something other than a burger (which you know I would have pulled up and ordered one anyway), I could blame stress and time. Yet I did not do this. Instead, I drove to my backup deli (Casa Bodega) and got a sandwich AND a salad. This is uncharted territory for me. Even when I was a body builder there were always cheeseburgers. My dreams are even better now that I've kicked the habit.

As soon as things at home return to normal I will add exercise.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Unless You Are A Doctor , Shut The Hell Up!

Although I'm posting about my kicking the burger habit, I haven't told any of my real-life friends (nobody reads this as far as I know). Here's what I hate about dieting, everybody's a fucking expert. You shouldn't eat those, you should do it this way and all kinds of unwanted, free advice flows my way from well meaning people.

If you really want to help me, shut the hell up.

I'm serious, I could give a fuck what you saw on Oprah and I don't care what your doctor told YOU. Don't tell me what you read in a book or heard on the radio and for God's sake don't tell me what you read on the internet. Shut up. First off, I have spent months talking with a dietition and doing some serious reading on eating healthy and I have to do things my way or I will not succeed.

In short, unless you are a doctor, I am smarter than you.

I'm the guy who has to live in this body, not you. I know what I can and can't do with it. I also have taken an honest look at my life and looked at what has worked and what has not. I lost 80lbs back in 1981 by cutting back on what I ate. I had gotten braces and wanted to keep the dental care to a minimum. That's what I'm sort of doing now. Along with my turkey sandwhich I've got pickles and I'm going to pick up dried fruit to nibble on.

You see, someone has to come along and give their opinion and it pisses me off. Anything that I eat now is 1000 times better than fast food, it's as simple as that. Yes, a pickle has a lot of salt, so the fuck what? Is it or is it not healthier than a #2 (Double Whopper w/Cheese and large fries)? Yes! Yes it is! So either shove that pickle up your ass or shut the hell up and leave me in peace. Don't talk to me about calories, starch or carbs, honestley, unless you're a doctor, you haven't got a clue as to what you're talking about.

Why do you have to be a doctor for me to listen to you? First off, the whole Medical School thing comes to play when a doctor talks to you about health. Doctors are to busy doctoring and playing golf to watch Oprah or read the latest celebrity diet book. So when a doctor gives me dietary advice it's from something he learned in Med School or read in a medical journal, not a tip from Doctor Phil (Yes, Dr Phil Mcgraw IS a doctor, and if I need psychologist he'd be the first guy I call).

When you weigh in with your stupid advice, you undermine me or the person who's trying to loose weight and change their life.

So shut your stupid mouth.

December 13th, Okay I Had One Cheeseburger, Just One!

So it's Tuesday, 12/06, and since I'm going to go for a long walk I figure what the hell and pull into BK and get my usual. Something interesting happened. I didn't enjoy it like I always do, the patties seemed greasy and the french fries smelled funny. So I walked extra hard, in the rain and went home. Today, when I woke up this morning and made my breakfast I felt great and after a busy afternoon I went to my favorite Deli and ordered my Peper Turkey/Pepper Jack sandwich and had that for dinner.

Something about that burger yesterday hit me funny, maybe it was the rendered cooking oil on the fries or just the greasiness of the burger but I think I'm going to be okay. It's like my body is rejecting cheese burgers.

Estimated savings so far - $50!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

December 9, 2006 . Day One Without A Cheeseburger

There comes a point when a guy needs to get his shit together. Today was that day.

I'm just to fucking fat and out of shape and at my age it's hurting me in every way something can. It's effecting my health, my love life and my financial situation. I only eat two meals a day, often both are Burger King and Jack in the Box double cheese burgers. I don't even think about it. It's like my truck is on auto-pilot. I'm pretty sure that if I were to die of a heart attack on the highway that my truck will safely pull into the nearest drive-through.

So today I got up and cooked some eggs. Then I saw a movie and then went to work. There I had a couple of bags of unbuttered popcorn and V8 juice.

It's one day, tomorrow is another one. I will have access to a turkey sandwich tomorrow for dinner.