Hey De Palma, I Have an Idea for a Movie

Hey Brian, can I call you Brian? Anyway, I just read about your latest crappy movie about US troops raping a young girl in Iraq.

I have an idea for a follow up movie.

Since you already did “Casualties of War” and now this flick I perceive a theme: Out of control people, drunk with power abusing and damaging the lives of people under their control.

Okay…We do a movie about a famous Hollywood director who lures a 13 year-old girl to the empty home of an actor friend. There he slips her a Quaalude and rapes the hell out of her. Then he uses the fact that he was a survivor of Nazi concentration camps as an excuse to undergo psychiatric tests, then when he’s supposed to be sentence he flees to France and becomes a Hollywood folk hero. You can end with footage of Hollywood giving him a standing –O after he wins an Academy Award thirty years later.

No?

How about a film about a famous Record Producer who beats the shit out of women who invites an aspiring actress back to his estate where he attempts to put the moves on her, a struggle ensues and he shoots her in the head and kills her.

No?

How about a story about a Hollywood Director who’s shooting a movie and he’s violating basic safety procedures AND Child Labor Laws, then he ends up pushing too hard and an accident happens where a helicopter crashes and kills the lead actor and to children – ON SCREEN. It’s pretty gory, you’d love it!

No?

Okay, how about telling the story of a shady Hollywood Private Detective who does all kinds of dirty work for Hollywood’s most powerful people. Stuff like wire-taps, intimidate witnesses; threaten reporters and all kinds of nasty stuff.

No?

Why?

These stories would give the “Wrong Impression” about Hollywood and paint the hard working and talented people in a negative light? REALY?

I should point out that the soldiers who committed this crime are all in prison and will be there for a very long time. Not a prison like rich Directors would go to, a serious prison. See, unlike Hollywood, the Military doesn’t condone nor accept criminal acts and punishes those in their ranks who commit them. The “10% Rule” applies in the military just as it does in Hollywood, it’s just that the military eventually catches its defectives and puts them away. But that would ruin your morality tale now wouldn’t it?

I know your movie will fail and I will be glad when it does.